Really?

Have you ever had those experiences when afterwords you take a step back and more or less want to scream really?! Work at Wal-Mart for more than 2 weeks and you could write a book. It isn't a terrible place to work, but i wouldn't exactly recommend it. Although it is a horrible place it serves as a great source of entertainment. So here are just a few of my favorite stories.

The Peanut Lady: (Thanks for this one Jare!)
A woman walked up to Jared and asked if he would help her find the WIC approved peanut butter. God only knows the government can't make anything easy, but WIC is terrible. Jared being the fantastic person that he is walked her over and said, "Here they are. You can choose both of these brands in either smooth or chunky." The woman immediately replied without skipping a beat, "oh my kids cant have the chunky, they are allergic to peanuts." Really?! What on earth do you think the smooth stuff is made of! Oh those poor, poor children.


SEXY Sunday 
Normally, on a Sunday, not many exciting things go down at the Centerville Walmart. Normally when you check people out you don't really care, or pay attention to the things that they are buying. Unfortunately I was bored this time, so not only did I pay attention to the items in the basket but I tuned in to the conversation. They were a young couple about my age and were about to have some great fun. In their basket were things like condoms, lube, whipped cream, lingerie, and one of those vibrating penis thingymajigies. When the girl came back from going to get a diet coke I will never forget what she said. "Why do they not have dildos here?!" Really girl? This is a family establishment, as much as a giant chain store can be. Still, I'm sure they could have found a better store to meet their needs.

Best Present Ever!
Valentines day at a store you more or less see men running in frantic buying flowers and chocolate, And then there was the coolest girl ever. On my belt heading towards the register there was a sexy night gown, 2 bottles of baby oil, a painting tarp, and a game of twister. Finally I built up enough courage to say something and all she said was "it's gonna be a fun night." She had told me her plan was to put everything in a box with a dinky little homemade card on top. Honestly I wish I had the balls to do something like that. More power to you mystery girl! I'm sure every man would love to have a girl like you!

There are so many more wonderful stories to come. Especially since I can no longer get fired for saying whatever I want!