Girly Speak.

Not to long ago my crazy best friend called me with one of these fantastic ideas that she has so often. Fortunately enough for me, when one of these ideas spouts she generally calls, This one actually made me feel quite terribly. When she first pitched the idea I may or may not have laughed, directly in her ear. Luckily, she is 700 miles away and couldn't kick me. She decided to take a vow of total and complete celibacy. Now said best friend is absolutely gorgeous, despite her lack of butt, and just as goofy and outgoing as me. I know to many of you believe  having sex while married is a great idea, but for her, it makes no sense. To be quite honest, I was confused.

I quickly began to think that she had ulterior motives. Not only had she sworn off sex, she had sworn off all men in general. As crazy as it sounded, it was actually  a great idea in the scheme of things. No men, meant no distractions. Distractions make it much harder to complete college. Although that is a great idea, it is still not like her.

I then began to think. I don't generally do that more than once a day, but today i was inspired. She is exactly like me! You see she is.. was... who really knows, either way she is in love with a man. This man, Mike, somehow cast a spell on this dear girl. Men tend to have that uncanny ability. She wasn't swearing off men for no reason. No man could ever amount to him.

As crazy as I thought this all sounded, she is the mirror image of me. I had done the exact same thing for almost four years. I dated guys, but as soon as it got serious i would run away. No one could compare to John. I was stuck on him, and I couldn't get loose. As much as wanted to get rid of my feelings, they just weren't going anywhere. He had been there for me through everything.

After years and years of asking him to move here or ask me to marry him, I decided to to let him go. It was quite honestly the hardest thing I have ever done. The one thing that got me through it was knowing I had finally found the man that lived up to my standards. I miss him still, I no longer miss the man I was in love with, but i miss my best friend. I talked to him every day for four years. It was so hard.


I think that every one has or had one of these men in there lives. Honestly, as sappy as it sounds, I think it takes finding the right man to get the other one out of your head, I know my friend has the strength to make it through. perhaps I should introduce her to a Utah boy, they like to get married quick.

Welp.. Night

Perhaps I Should Have Been A Counselor..

I once loved listening to peoples problems and offering advice, and then I learned how truly hard it is. I have a very hard time not internalizing other peoples pain and trying to solve their problems on my own. That my friends is the exact reason why I am not a social worker. In high  school I was a peer counselor, college I was the person people went to for relationship advice. That one just boggles my mind! As I get older this is all getting a little easier, but perhaps it is the subject matter that makes me actually want to listen.

For some unknown reason I am now my friends foremost authority on sex. Maybe i would have stayed in college if I could have gone to be a sex therapist. I'm not sure if I should feel honored that they feel comfortable enough with me to have this conversation, or a little terrified that they think I am a floozy. I honestly wish that there wasn't such a negative stigma about this subject. I think it is something that should be as easy to talk about as ice cream.

For many reasons, the names of my friends have been changed. Unlike the girls in "Sex and the City," I dont think my friends would be okay with the whole world knowing their sexual exploitations. A couple weeks ago one of my very best friends texted me asking "can I ask you a question?" As much as many of us would like to reply with a firm "no," we all know that the answer is always yes. I will not lie, the question that followed took me by complete surprise. "How do you feel about friends with benefits?" This coming from the same girl who is a virgin in her mid twenties,(which is odd in any other state,) and bound and determined to get married in an LDS temple. So, I gave her my opinion. I think it is an absolutely terrible idea! No matter what someone is going to develop feelings and end up getting hurt. Then the thought clicked in my head, "who was she about to sleep with?"  I had to ask, "okay missy what on earth are you thinking about doing?" She then told me that she was thinking about having "casual encounters" with a gentleman she has known for sometime. Now usually I would take what I like to call the SITC approach, (Sex in the City,) and say go for it. This time however is different.

This is her Virginity we were talking about! Now I obviously lost that precious little V card a while ago, I did have a baby at 18. I would never take that first time back. As terrible as it was, everyone's first time is, I was completely in love. I would however change my age and quite possibly the place. I knew it wasn't my place to talk her out of it, so i just told her the truth. Ultimately it is her body. Who am I to decide whether or not she is ready for that step. I wasn't, and yet I took the plunge. Ultimately, she discovered this boy has a girl friend. What a complete D-bag right?! It ended up being an even better idea that it hadn't happened.

This whole thing led me to decide one thing. If she would have had someone to talk about this with, or even better, if it was socially acceptable for conversations like this to just happen, perhaps this decision would have been much easier for her to make on her own. My whole life i have only had one girl friend to talk about sex with, so i have officially decided to now have millions. Why Not? Someone in this crazy state we call Utah actually needs to be truthful and honest about the reality of life. And the reality is, We ALL do it!

Welp Good night. :-)